Friday, 14 September 2012

Cover Letter and Resume

Job Posting
Resume



My Address
#12-34
Singapore 1****

* September 2012

Director of Human Capital Management
Health Sciences Authority
11, Outram Road
Singapore 169078

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am currently a second-year Applied Chemistry undergraduate at NUS, writing to apply for an internship as a Scientist of Forensic Chemistry and Physics Laboratory. For me, this is a wonderful opportunity to consolidate the skills and knowledge I have acquired so far and to be a part of the dynamic team. Furthermore, through my studies and active participations in various competitions and co-curricular activities, I believe that I am the suitable candidate for this position.

Majoring in applied chemistry has equipped me with various key skills that will be beneficial in laboratory such as operating FT-IR, UV-vis spectrometer, and conducting TLC analysis. Moreover, my keen interest in forensic science has led me to delve deeper into this field beyond the forensic science modules I have taken. Coupled with my wide exposure to international students in a professional communication course, I am confident that I have developed strong oral presentation and interpersonal skills to be a dynamic team player.

Beyond my academic involvement, I have been participating actively in various co-curricular activities. Being a writer of the largest student publication at NUS and the official publication of Indonesian Students' Association in Singapore, I have acquired valuable time management skills to cope with tight deadlines and honed my writing skills. Furthermore, as a reporter working in a team, I cultivated strong teamwork and organizational skills.

I believe that I possess the qualifications and enthusiasm that you are looking for. I thrive on challenges and I am willing to spend the time and effort it takes to succeed. Thank you, and I am looking forward to your reply.


Yours faithfully,



Teresa Widodo


1st draft: Revised by Jie Wei
2nd draft: Revised by Eunice - Edited 15/9 2012
3rd draft: Revised by Serene - Edited 16/9 2012
4th draft: Revised by Brad Blackstone - Edited 4/10 2012

5 comments:

Eunice Koh said...

Hi Teresa!

You have covered quite a lot of ground! There is good flow between the various skills and experiences. However, you could be more concise, as this is a little too long for a cover letter. Here are some areas of improvement:

1.Avoid repeating words too close to each other: "I am a second year applied Chemistry...AT NUS, writing to apply for...Laboratory. This is for me a wonderful opportunity to consolidate ....to be A PART OF..."

2. Skip introducing what you want to say, and go straight to your message: "Majoring in applied Chemistry has equipped me with various key skills..."

3. Insert your presence into the letter as much as possible: "Moreover, MY keen interest...has led me to research on the necessary... this field beyond Forensic Science modules."

4. Avoid using similar transition words too close to one another: instead of "in addition", use "coupled with", which simultaneously allow you to further engage your presence with the skills you want to highlight. Also, use more powerful phrases which highlight your strengths, and downplay past weaknesses. For example, avoid using "I have MANAGED to", as it suggests that although you have gained some improvements, you have done so with significant difficulties, and thus may currently still be in the process of improving your standards. So, taken together: "Coupled with my wide exposure to international students in a Professional Communications course, I am confident that I have developed strong oral presentation and interpersonal skills to be a dynamic team-player...."

5. Look out for similar points,as they may be misinterpreted as overlapping points. Display your notable editing skills by either presenting different aspects of each point, or choose the more impressive one to include in the letter. Paragraphs 3 and 4 seem to present a similar message: that you possess strong leadership and team-player skills. You can either ascribe a distinctly different skill to each point, or choose to emphasize only paragraph 3 or 4. For example, you can present your role in the NUS Indonesian Association publication together with your role as a reporter, then highlight how these two dynamically enhance your organizational and team-building skills.

Teresa Widodo said...

Hi Eunice!

Yes, I agree that my cover letter was long-winded. Your response really helps in condensing it. And thank you so much for pointing out the points in your suggestions and providing the corrections. I really appreciate them. :) Have a great weekend!

Serene Chua said...

Hi Teresa!

The structure and organization of your application letter is quite clear. I feel that you have pretty much fulfilled the criteria we have been working on in class.

Here are more suggestions for you:

1) I am currently a second year Applied Chemistry undergraduate at NUS, writing to apply for an internship as a Scientist of Forensic Chemistry and Physics Laboratory --> Instead of using "waiting", how about using words that can better express your enthusiasm?

2) Coupled with my wide exposure to International Students --> international students.

3) I have acquired valuable time management skill to cope with tight deadlines and honed my writing skill --> time management skills. writing skills.

Teresa Widodo said...

Hi Serene!

Noted with thanks. :) Anyway, I think you misread the first sentence. Have a great weekend!

Serene Chua said...

My bad. That was a mistake on my part. You can just ignore that. :)

Post a Comment